At some point, your young adult will
reach an age where they can work. They may actually want to work, to your shock and mystification. They may have many motivations to
get a job. These range from wanting to help with household bills
after a lay-off to just wanting money to blow at the mall. There may be some social status benefits, or positive peer pressure.
Regardless of the motivation, your role
as a parent changes. During this change, there WILL be challenges.
Parents will face challenges and these are more than balanced by the
awesome learning opportunities.
If you stop and think about it, your
role as a parent has always changed. From the trip home from the
hospital, through the diapers and feeding into the first day of
school, you have been adapting. I believe that a first job is much
like the first day of school (or day care). You are no longer solely
responsible for your child. Someone else is teaching and directing
them, and you probably have not had much say in the selection of
those people.
A large difference in the role of the
parent at work is that your child is now a young adult. The parent
needs to be supportive, but from behind the scenes. In a school, if
a child has a problem with another student, the parent can talk to
the Teacher, and even escalate the intervention to the Principal. At
work, you need to help the young adult handle it themselves (unless
there is a serious issue such as safety).
Communication is the key. You need to
use active listening skills to get the whole story from a teenager.
You must have intelligence to interpret the information they share,
and how their perspective influences what they tell you. You must
have wisdom to provide advice-or to know when to let the young adult
solve the problem. You made it through the diapers, The Terrible
Two's, the first day of school, the first time driving, and the first
date. You'll make it through this, too. Just keep listening and
talking.
While you are finding your way with
this new young adult, challenges will arise. They are too varied to
list here, but I have my personal favorites. In many places, a work
permit is required, and to get THAT your young worker needs to pay
for and pass a physical (school sports physicals usually work). Also,
when your little cherub was born, you got a Social Security card for
them. They need that now. Potential employers give the young worker
a packet of pre-employment paperwork, which they promptly lose (a job
search folder-binder is recommended from the start). You can help
greatly with organization and follow-through.
Then there are the interpersonal and
social skills issues. Most teens are not expert at relating well
with others, and often fail to see the point of view of another
person. Many teens have initial difficulties surrounding social
skills, manners, and understanding roles in the workplace. Often,
young workers may view their Supervisor the same way they relate to
kindly Teachers. However, the Supervisor may be 22years old and
lacking the passion for youth and training of a Teacher. Schools
exist to support and teach. Businesses are there to earn money.
This difference underlies many social interaction difficulties at
work. You can help by taking the time to explain these things, and
providing suggestions.
All of the above problems
challenges also present unique learning opportunities. The
successful young worker earns some cash, and more importantly, gains
skills and experiences. As a parent, you can help with establishing
a bank account, and helping them be responsible. You can mentor in
the areas of dealing with a Boss. If your young adult does not
succeed, you also have a chance to talk about lessons learned, and
how to do better next time. Regardless, your relationship with your
young adult will continue to mature.
Good
luck and best wishes,
Chris
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