Rejection

Rejection after THE interview.

“Dear Employment Candidate, it is my sad duty to inform you that your qualifications, while impressive, were not the exact fit to fill the needs here at Initech...”

That type of “Thank you for your interest” letter can be demoralizing. As I mentioned in an earlier article about attitude, http://thejobsguy.blogspot.com/2012/04/attitude-during-job-search.html your ability to maintain a positive outlook is critical to eventual success. Job searches are about sales, and depressed salespeople typically don't do well.

So what are some tips when you have been rejected? First of all, don't take it personally. The decision to go with someone else is (usually) a business decision, not a commentary on you personally. Also, for what it may be worth, rest assured that there are a great many people who just got the same letter or email that you did.

Additionally, recognize that, while you may believe you have been turned down for THE DREAM JOB, that may not be true. Even The Jobs Guy gets rejected, and many years ago, I was passed over for a job in management at a national grocery chain. I was devastated at the time, but grateful now. Life/Karma/Fate led me to a place where I am doing what I love, and that is NOT managing a Produce Department. When you have a little space from the rejection, you can gain perspective.

Congratulate yourself just a little. OK, I know. At the Olympics they only play the national anthem of the winner, who is now standing one step higher than you are. However, you still came in second, or at least did well enough that you were selected to move forward in some competitive process. Someone was interested enough to invest time and energy into talking with you further.

You are “One Closer To Yes”. Job searches are sales functions. The old story about the Master of Sales leaps to mind. A young rookie was partnered with an old, successful Veteran. They went on their sales call, and together, made a fabulous pitch. The young Rookie was dejected when they left, full of self-doubt and loathing. In the car, driving away, he looks over, and sees the Veteran smiling. The Rookie says “How can you be smiling after that? We made a great sales pitch, and they still almost threw us out.” The Veteran looks at the Rookie and says “Over the years, I have learned that for every 100 times I make a sales pitch, 99 responses are 'No'. Now that one is out of the way, and I am 1 closer to a sale. What a great day!”

After what some people perceive as a job interview failure, they often ask if they should get feedback from the employer. Like many things in life, the answer is “It depends”. If you are a younger person, seeking an entry level or early career position, I absolutely recommend that you ask. A polite email saying “Thank you for your time. To help me with my future job searches, could you provide any feedback which will help me do better...” Some people will be gracious enough to help you know where you are lacking, while others will delete the email and avoid a potential liability.

Regardless, when you are rejected for a job, give yourself a break.

Good luck and best wishes,

Chris

Attitude during a job search.

Attitude

A job search can be very draining, particularly when the labor market is tight. To succeed, you must keep a positive attitude. That is easier said than done, and here are some tips to help you stay on course.

Set realistic, consistent goals and write them down.

Assuming that you already have your tools (resume, cover letter, etc), define what you can realistically do in terms of quality job applications each day or week. Write this down. Heck, make a calendar and post it on the wall. Check off successful days with a green marker,and reward yourself in some small way. If you live with others, they may use this to encourage you too. The mechanism doesn't matter. The point is to set, write down, and check progress toward your goals.

Take and give yourself a break.

A job search is a stressful grind. Don't get so wrapped up that you forget to live life. Work is an important part of life, but it shouldn't be all that there is to life. Even if finances are limited, find a reasonable amount of time to do something enjoyable. The job search will go better if you are not exhausted.

Also, give yourself a break. Many long-term job seekers feel guilt about why they are out of work, or view themselves as a damaged product. “If I had worked harder, they wouldn't have laid me off.” “Nobody will hire me because I'm too _________ (Fill in the blank). “If I had only (Fill in the blank), I wouldn't be in this mess.” . In reasonable doses, guilt and shame can be great learning and behavior improvement tools. Excessive (or undeserved guilt) can be corrosive and destructive. Be kind to yourself.

Take care of your health.

Eat right, exercise, get the proper sleep (in a normal routine), don't use alcohol or other substances as a crutch, and do the things you know that you should. Take care of yourself.

Get support.

Human beings are social creatures. In an ideal world, we support and help each other. This is important when we reach stress points, such as a job search. Reaching out to loved ones, friends former co-workers and others can be difficult. Do it anyway. If nothing else, it is a good way to network. If you think that you may need professional help with issues like stress, depression, or finances, there is a very simple diagnostic tool: Ask a professional. Please don't be afraid to reach out for help if you think you need it.

Look on the bright side.

I know it' an old, trite idea, but problems can often be opportunities. I have worked with many consumers who worked through a career problem, and later said “Getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to me.” Since I am using hackneyed phrases, there is a silver lining to every cloud. Be determined to succeed, and you will.

Be ready for rejection.

Many of the folks I work with last sought jobs during the 'Roaring '90's”. Employers competed for potential talent, or even just a warm body. They offered fabulous benefits, and would be very accepting of many things. The applicant ruled. Those days are gone. This is likely going to be a difficult marathon for you. This is not about you, except in the sense that you have to out-compete many others.  Do your best.

Last but not least, decide to have a good attitude.

Often, we are not in control of circumstances. You may not have controlled the decisions that caused your former employer to close. You are certainly not in charge of the economy. However, you are in control of how you act (and to a certain extent how you feel) in response to events. You are in charge of yourself. I hope that you choose to take a positive, hopeful, determined approach to what may be a bad situation.

Good luck and best wishes,

Chris

Links to my work, “Beyond a Career Crisis”:

Kindle Edition

http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Career-Crisis-Find-ebook/dp/B0058TTCG6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1329102151&sr=8-1

Paperback Edition

http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Career-Crisis-Choose-Love/dp/1463683537/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1329102151&sr=8-2

Why work? Why bother?

Are you one of the 1 in 5 Americans with a mental health problem that is severe enough to be diagnosed, or one of the 1 in 17 people who have chronic, on-going issues? If so, why bother with work? Who cares about income? If you are careful, you can qualify for government programs that will keep you alive. You might take a hit to your standard of living, but will still have food, clothing and shelter. You will probably still be able to afford cable television, and probably a cell phone. You'll get to sleep late everyday too.

If people can survive, albeit not always comfortably, why should they bother with the hassles of getting up every morning: taking a shower, shaving, applying makeup (or in some instances, both), getting into a car or on a bus, and trudging to someplace where they LABOR?

Because work keeps us normal. The need to strive, to learn, to contribute, to achieve, and to win or lose is built into our DNA. This is a part of what makes us human. Birds build nests, and beaver build dams. This gives them a place to live, to raise their young, and to gather or eat food. That is much the same for humans.

But there is even more importance to the work of a person. This is a vehicle of self-expression. Work is a place to socialize, and to learn and teach. Work is a place where we express and fulfill our social needs.

All this from a burrito folding job at Taco Bell. Yes. And when we are fortunate or smart enough to actually be doing something we love (even burrito folding) we sometimes really see a little sliver of heaven.

Work can form a base upon which our emotional health can stand. Many people have experienced a traumatic event, such as a divorce or a violent crime, and used work as a way to occupy their time and mind while they rebuild their lives. They escape just a bit, for a while into something productive. Work, for a time, can become a safe place for us.

Work gives meaning to our lives.

When people do not have productive work to do, it affects them and those around them, all the way out to the larger society. When people do not have productive work, their lives tend to degrade. Mental functioning is decreased-use it or lose it. People often turn to poor habits, such as substance abuse. They tend to not care about their appearance or their physical health nearly as much. They may become involved in crime.

And when we have large numbers of people with no work, what happens to our society? What is the impact on our community? We already know. Such communities exist. They are called the inner city, and these areas plague us still today.

Go do something productive today, and enjoy.

Links to my work, "Beyond a Career Crisis":

Kindle http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Career-Crisis-Find-ebook/dp/B0058TTCG6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1329100793&sr=8-1

Hard copy http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Career-Crisis-Choose-Love/dp/1463683537/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1329100793&sr=8-2